First off I would like to thank Kody for putting the Christmas tree back together and doing such a good job, and to tell him that I love him!
Tonight I was kinda forced into thinking about a subject that always sends me into a funk, that being the assorted friends I have had through my life. I think about them, wondering how they are, and if they ever wonder about me.
Tonight in particular I received a message on Myspace from one of my old friends giving me a new phone number seeing how she just moved to Illinois last month. She said it seemed like I was trying to forget my past and my past friends, and if I were that would be fine. She told me to just let her know if that was the way I felt and she would pass it on to everyone else that I was friends with in high school.
Of course this made me feel like a pile of shit. But at the same time, not really. I am not the same person I was in high school, but I miss the people from my childhood. I sent her a message letting her know that she could call me anytime, and that while we would most likely never be friends like we were in school, I would always care for her. I hope she realizes that when I say that, I mean it. In fact I feel that way about everyone I have ever been friends with. I carry you all with me all the time, even if our friendship ended badly, or we just grew apart. I think about you all, and care for you all for helping to make me the person I am, scary as that may be.
This of course gets me on a roll about my current friendships, and I wonder if we will always be friends? I hope so. While there is nothing I can do about the friendships that have drifted away, I can work hard to keep the ones I have strong. So to Lexy, Tony, Diane, Nick, Mike, Mary, and my beloved Kim, I just want to tell you I love you and you mean so much to me!
There, how was that for sappy! I think this song is fairly on the mark.
Simple Minds - Don't You Forget About Me
2 comments:
Well unless you move or we move away I dont see our friendship ending and even that wouldn't end it.
A valuable lesson I learned from HighSchool friends. They are what helped make you into the person you are today. They helped form the foundation that is you. And nobody will take that away. BUT and this is a big BUT its the years directly after high school that help determine who YOU are. And we all hope that friendships can survive through that. However we have different experiences in learning the same lessons about life. And sometimes those experiences change people so dramatically that they are never the same person we knew in High school. That in itself will make the two of you so different that even in just trying to have a friendly conversation can be difficult. I have a brother from high school that it is exactly like this. And I just had to except it. This is why college and military friends often end up being the people you stay in touch with for life more so than high school friends.
Another brother part of the same group told me once. "If we go back to high school friends and we can only catch up and not find anything current to catch up you know the friendship is in danger and should resolve yourself to the catch up sessions you have every few years. And hopefully someday it will be like it was. If not then you know you had a great friend and you can always remember them that way." This conversation was about the first friend I talked about, because we both felt the same way. So I no longer think its bad, its just part of life.
It has taken me a while to get used to myself. As the friend I speak about was a very important part of my life. I loved him like a brother and would still do anything for him and I am sure he feels the same. But we know we cant spend to much time together because we are just so different now. But it is what it is. So I tend to focus on the people that are in my life now.
Mike, I jive with what you're saying.
I feel so very fortunate to have you and Mike and Mary and Kody as friends. You are my closest group by far.
You've got me thinking about my high school friends. I don't keep up with them very well, all except for Kody. I honestly don't know why Kody and I are still as close as we are,(not because I don't love him to death but because it seems like high school friendships don't last very often) but I wouldn't trade it for anything and consider it a gift not to be taken for granted. It seems lately that I'm accepting growing up and the changes in relationships that comes with it. It feels good to stop regretting and start looking ahead. :)
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