So this is not going to be so much a real post as a quick message to let everyone know I am doing ok. Shit sucks right now. A lot of longs days, trips to Eldon, headaches, and built up tension. Nonetheless, I am doing ok. It has been nice to see my stepbrother Kris, and I can tell Tony has been happy when we are all together.
I have had some complaints because I have not been in contact with everyone. People are hurt that I am talking to some people and not them. Well, all I can say is you can get over it. I am being selfish right now. I am taking as much me time as I can get (which is about none), and trying to avoid the drama at all costs. It does not mean I am mad at you, or I hate you, it means you were not there for me when I went through this with my Grandma, and I don't need you now. I have a lot of friends, and a few very good friends, a rare couple of which are like my family, and I have been out of contact with most of them. They all know I still love them. They don't need to be told. They know shit sucks right now, and I know they are there when I need them. So rest assured, I will not waste my time or energy blowing you right now. Sorry.
Ryan
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Welcome Spring
Who Am I??
- Ryan
- Jefferson City, Missouri, United States
- I am a 28 year old aspiring writer. I love my friends and family, and have a passion for movies, books, and music. I will forever be stuck in the 80's. I love everything about that decade!!! Please feel free to leave me a comment, I love those!!
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2 comments:
I think, the older you get, the more you realize that you don't have to waste your life spending time with people you don't especially like just to save their feelings. Or maybe you realize you don't like them where you thought you did before. Truth is, I really don't know what I'm saying here. I see nothing wrong with what your doing and I also think people should get over it.
You know we're here for ya anytime. ;)
I'm not really concerned with the whole "people are hanging out with one another and I'm not included" thing, though I can definitely see how some of the messages I left on your cell phone could have sounded as though that were what I meant... I'm also most certainly not trying to start any "drama".
I'm not really hurt either, though I do believe that was the word I used. If you feel there's drama that you're trying to avoid, obviously those are valid feelings for you and its important that you acknowledge them and deal with them in the ways you deem most appropriate, and if that means not talking to me for three years if that's when you're ready--- Well, I suppose that's fine. I'm sure I'd be more than happy to lend an ear at that point.
The thing is, you are one of my closest friends. That makes want you to be happy... and if that isn't possible because you're hurting I want to try to help in whatever way I can.
Because of this, I encourage you to run to the people who help you to feel better. Or help you to forget things for a few minutes, or whatever. And if I'm not one of them, that's okay. Just know that I'm always here if you do feel like you need something from me.
I'm not sure how I could have been there for you more or differently when you went through this with your Grandma, and I'm very sorry if there is something more I could or should have done at that time that I didn't.
If I made a mistake then, I can't change that... All I can do is try to be there for you now.
Brett Patrick Casey
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