Raewriter returns

For the most part, anyway. I am home again, I think now for good. There will of course be the semi-regular overnight visits to Eldon, but for the most part I think the extended stays are over.

It has been an interesting time to say the least. A whole lot of negative, but a few positive things mixed in to keep life livable. I really feel like I became closer to my stepbrother and stepsister, both of which will be back this summer. Best of all, I feel like I am getting to know my mom better. Not as my mom, but as the flesh and blood woman that she is. I feel very fortunate. She is an amazing woman, and despite her many fears and weaknesses, I hope one day I can have her courage.

I have been living in a bubble, and while it was a million miles from perfection, it was sheltered from everything that I did not want or could not deal with. Tony's death popped the bubble and forced me back into reality. Sometimes I miss the bubble, but I don't plan on returning to it.


Momma, this is for you......

Cyndi Lauper - Shine

Tony

My stepdad passed away last night at home at 9:36pm, surrounded by his family. The way it stands right now, the visitation will be Thursday evening at Rekus Funeral Home in Eldon, and the funeral will be Friday morning at 11am. I am tired, and think I am going to sneek in a little nap.

It's things like this...

Simple little things that really get me. Mike delivered a loaf of his famously delicious chocolate chip banana bread to the house yesterday. That simple act of kindness meant more to me than anything anyone has done for me in a long time. Thank you Mike! I mean that with all my heart!

Tony should be going home tomorrow. The doctors have done everything they are going to do. They say he has a few weeks. We shall see what happens.

I am finding it really hard to care about shit right now. Christmas is 5 days away and I don't care. I have sent out no cards, bought no gifts, nothing. I did take out more life insurance so that when I die Kody will be taken care of. I guess I still care about some stuff.

I feel like I need to say something, but it won't come out. I'm not sure what it is.

Cyndi Lauper - Sally's Pigeons

Storm Chasers

You have to be completely out of your mind to do it, but the rewards would be so worth it! I have always been fascinated with the fury of mother nature, tornadoes in particular. This video does not show as much as a lot of the other ones I have watched, but I find it incredibly intense nonetheless. It is one of the few videos capturing the mile wide E-F5 tornado that hit Greensburg, Kansas on May 4th, 2007. I had the honor of visiting Greensburg years ago while driving through to Dodge City.


I love this video. What kind of an idiot stands in his TRAILER and films a tornado through the window as it goes by. It should be noted this man was also struck by lightning and knocked out when one of his windows blew in. I guess it takes stupid people to get really great footage like this.


Finally right here at home, this is the surveillance camera footage from outside the high school in Caruthersville, Missouri. The footage shows the E-F3 tornado that hit on April 2, 2006.

Unfortunately, all three of these particular storms resulted in a loss of life. The dark side of my passion.

Black Christmas

Let me give you the rundown. It should be noted before I begin that my stepfather's oncologist has been delighted at how they were slowing the growth of his lung cancer and making sure it did not spread.

After complaining of stomach pain and a distended abdomen for a few days he went in to be seen. After running a battery of tests the doctor decided it was his gallbladder, and it needed to come out most likely. Wednesday Tony reports to Capital Region for what was supposed to be a simple outpatient surgery.

When a doctor actually took the time to look at Tony, they discovered his abdomen is riddled with cancer, which has also caused a massive infection because his intestines have basically collapsed. He is still in the hospital, and the doctors have said if he can beat the infection he will have anywhere from a few weeks up to a couple of months to live. If he could start on some kind of treatment, it may drag things out a few more months, however due to the surgery and infection, he can't even start treatment for 4 weeks. Talk about being over a fucking barrel.

So, I would like to take a moment to thank everyone on Tony's medical treatment team this past year. Your competence and confidence that the cancer had not spread has warmed my family's hearts this holiday season You have all done a bang up job, and I truly hope that they save a special spot for your miserable asses in HELL!

No song today, instead I think one of the greatest sequences in horror movie history sums up my current mood pretty well.

Watch this...

This is fucking cool!!

Weathering the storm

We survived the ice storm, as did all of you I hope. Being without electricity for two days really sucked, but oh well. I know there are still a lot of people without power (including my parents, who have found a warm place to hold up). My heart goes out to you. Apparently, my poor little hometown of Eldon was one of the hardest hit places in the state. Today, the governor declared it a disaster area. Sorry, it was a disaster long before this happened.

I want to see this movie.


This post was really kind of random. Why do I bother some days.

This woman scares the shit out of me, and I simply adore her for it!!!

Annie Lennox - No More I Love Yous